The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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