Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My hand turned me down
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize