i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
