I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
