I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
