she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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