Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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