Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
