I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
