I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize