you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
