you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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