WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
