Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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