Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
