So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
