Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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