So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
where are you?
Hypothermia
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
