that's an acceptable place to lick
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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