Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
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He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
