im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
BRING THE BAGELS
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
