There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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