he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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