my mouth tastes like poor choices
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
try to milk me bitch
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