..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
