I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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