Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
