I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
