I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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