I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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