There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
