brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
