I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
