I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
