Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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