Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
