rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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