if you like me you must not know who I am
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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