I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
