It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
