Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
