the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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