Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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