u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
