There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
