I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
