Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
