I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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