all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why do cheetos always look like penises
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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