I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
