Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
