Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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