I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
