I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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