I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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