And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
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