Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
