This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
