yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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