just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
