his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
