Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I will pee on everything he values.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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