My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
