HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize