he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
