Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
At least make sure they are 18
Why
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
