I don't think brook has ever known best
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
