I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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