marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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