You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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