I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
