Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
