You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
