Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's Friday. Sex?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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