I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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